Words Can Hurt

Found this quote ....


"Words Can Hurt"

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Whoever made up that childhood phrase may have meant well, but they were misguided. Most physical wounds eventually heal. Words, on the other hand, can leave scars that never go away.

Adults forget just how much power their words have with the children in their lives. What may be a meaningless comment to you may be a devastating invalidation to your son or daughter. Remember, once it’s out of your mouth, there’s no retrieving a careless comment, and its impact could last a lifetime.

—Paul S. Williams

Dare to Dance with a Cat

Yesterday I did it. I danced with my cat. Her name is Hope. It was a fast song ...by some group named the Supertones. Anyways, I picked him up and we danced. Not really good and not really too fast. But do know know what happens when you dance with a cat?

Yesterday, I found out quick. It wasn't the pain, nor the clawing that got me. It was the shock. Here I had a peaceful loving pet; and suddenly ...without warning I was toast or rather a scratching post. Will I do it again? Probably not for some time. But some of us would dare to.



Now I got thinking that is how it is with us in our lives. Something looks good, but actually is bad for us. We dance with it; thinking it. (Let's call it by its name ....now Sin). would not harm us. But soon there is the shock, the pain, and the wanting to do it again. So easy to dance with sin than it is with God isn't it? Sometimes in the midst of my own sinfulness I forget.

Dancing with a cat, how silly is that? It's as silly as dancing with sin, but a lot of people are doing that too.

McFranchising of Ministry

Too often I see the McFranchising of Ministry. So how many do you run, how big is your church? (Almost sounds like a Jr. High locker room). What ticks me off is we compare, we go after numbers as the only indication of health and equate that mega equals better. God gives the increase. Numbers in and of themselves is not the ONLY indicator. I think a BIG injustice is done to ministry trying to be the NEXT Big thing or even to BE LIKE Rick Warren. God blesses both big and small churches. BE yourself. Be who God created you to be. Learn from others. Make disciples. Be faithful. But stay away from McFranchising and Business Incorporating your ministry. It's unhealthy, and really gets annoying after awhile. Maybe the better question is not how big is your church, but how DEEP is your church

? Any disciples?

Bible Illiteracy

I've adopted the following statement regarding the Bible:

"We believe in the Bible. We're awed by it, inspired by it, and believe it is Truth. We're also terrified of it. We don't understand all of it, but we believe it. All of it. That's the important part, because if you only believe some of it, if you try to edit out the parts you don't like, then you don't believe it. Of course, believing it all doesn't mean we perfectly live it all. It doesn't even mean we have it all figured out. Mostly we're scared of it, scared in a good way, because whenever we read it and try to live by it, God shows up and that's pretty terrifying … and also pretty amazing, and pretty …uh … assuring."

The one thing that concerns me about Bible literacy is that we'll give Pat Answers
Have it all figured out. I don't want students to be Bible literate. I want them to be Jesus literate. You see, there is a difference. The Bible points to well ...Jesus. And we're to worship Jesus, not the Bible. The one thing that concerns me is we get so focused on learning rather than doing. Bible literacy isn't about facts, figures, and teaching stories. It's about God's story being a part of our story. Having students making their faith journey - well Their's.


Sometimes that means that not teaching Jesus but BEING Jesus. You see some of the greatest moments in our ministries are when well JESUS shows up. We find people being Jesus' hands and feet and our students catching that. What I find is its not the parts of the Bible that I don't understand that scares me, but that ones I do that scare me. Like "Love one another, bear one another's burdens etc"

Sometimes I think we take the mystery, awe, fear of God, and try to put it all into some logical answers and have all the Bible and it figured out. As for me I'm teaching my students the journey along with their families. What I'd like to see more is more Jesus teaching along with the Bible in the homes rather than just a "Church" program. But that's another rant.

The 18 Month Myth

Myth Busters ... So how do we get away from this myth in Youth Ministry?

Here’s an article from Group Magazine.(It is a few years ago but still debunks the myth that is still circulating today) It’s at the bottom of the page after 100 Youth Ministry Gems and 10 Things I Wish I’d Known. (Good Stuff). You can click here to read the rest http://www.groupmag.com/articles/details.asp?ID=3795

THE 18 MONTH MYTH

By Rick Lawrence

"Studies indicate that the average youth director lasts only 18 months." So says George Gallup, the granddaddy of Christian pollsters. I’ve heard the same factoid quoted by esteemed youth ministry speakers, authors, academics, and average-Josephine youth leaders hundreds of times. So it’s gotta be true, right?

Here’s the trouble: I’ve attempted to trace this now-infamous truism back to a specific source, and I can’t find one anywhere. Gallup doesn’t cite a particular study. Neither does Barna. It’s a ghost vampire not even Buffy can kill. The 18-Month Myth is now part of youth ministry lore. It’s been used over and over to describe youth ministers as easily scared gypsies who bolt at the first sign of trouble.

Well, I’m here to tell you it’s all a bunch of bunk.

For years I’ve challenged people who reel off this 18-month statistic to cite their sources. I’ve disputed its authenticity for two reasons: (1) The average group reader has five years of paid youth ministry experience and has stayed at the same church—both as a volunteer and paid staffer—for more than six years. (2) At conventions, workshops, and in casual conversations with youth ministers all over the country, I hardly ever meet one who bags it after a year-and-a-half.

So we here at group decided to find out the truth, once and for all. We asked our research staff to complete a scientific survey of North American churches using a representative sampling of denominations. Here’s what we discovered:

*The average paid youth minister has just over four years experience (4.2 years, to be exact).

*The average paid youth minister has been at the same church for almost four years (3.9 years, to be exact).

So you’re not the lone stable person in a sea of here-today, gone-tomorrow gadabouts. And, if you’re a group subscriber, it’s a good bet you’re even more committed to your profession and your church than those nefarious nonsubscribers out there.
Now I feel all squishy inside—the good kind of squishy. I hope you do, too.

Rick Lawrence is editor of group.


what other myths in ministry do you see circulating out there?

The importance of youth ministry

Found the quote from pg. 33 The Emerging Church

"Contrary to much of our current thinking about the importance of powerful youth ministries to the lifelong spiritual development of future adults, research proves otherwise: a teenager who attends a church's worship service on a regular basis and does not attend youth group is more likely to continue attend church worship services as an adult than a teen who is active in youth group but doesn't attend worship services with other age groups." - Mark Oestreicher

Thoughts? How do you integrate teens in your church?

Top 7 Things I want Said at my Funeral.

The fact there are two sure things in life: death and taxes. So here are 10 things I'd like said at my funeral.


I. Gerrard wasn't perfect, just loved a perfect Savior.

II. Gerrard loved his family.

III. Gerrard loved the church, and the church loved him.

IV. Gerrard loved the church because Jesus loved the church.

V. Canadian, husband, father, but most importantly a Christian.

VI. His obituary maybe short but his Church Family comes from a long line of faithful followers.

VII. Romans 12:1-2 cited from the Message.

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

What would you want said at your funeral?

Ultimately I want people to say He was a man after God's own heart who pointed people to Jesus and not himself.

Rules: What kind of rules do you have?

Sometimes the dreaded "Discipline" word comes up. So I have 4 basic rules.

1. Respect God
2. Respect Each Other.
3. Respect the Property
4. No Dying.

Sums up the greatest commandment. Issues of abuse, alcohol, drugs, and of course engaging in activity that could get someone seriously hurt.

What rules do you have?

What is Worship?

What worship is to others, is it is an ongoing process in our faith
journeys. It isn't something we arrive at. It is a reflection of who we
are. To worship is to love and adore something through all our actions and
everything. So if we are worshipping God, it should be seen outside the
four walls we meet in on Sunday AM. AGREED....

I like the following illustration from the Unquenchable Worshipper by Matt
Redman. pg. 74

"The year is 1744. Hymn writer Charles Wesley is in Leeds, England, holding
a prayer meeting in an upstairs room. Suddenly there is a creak in the
floorboards, followed by a massive crack, and the whole floor collapses.
All 100 people crashed right through the ceiling into the room below. The
place is in chaos - some are screaming, some are crying, some just sit in
shock. But as the dust settles, Wesley, wounded and lying in a heap, cries
out, "Fear not! The Lord is with us, our lives are all safe." And then he
breaks out into the doxology: "Praise God from whom all blessings flow." -
perhaps a bizarre choice of a song, considering what just happened!"

Here's the point, I would love to be like that worshipper in the midst of
crisis to respond with unstoppable praise, I just know many of those
moments I fail our Lord.

gods at war

Just finished reading this. seems I'm reading a lot of Kyle Idleman's stuff lately. Checking out h20 too. Anyone else? What are you reading and using?

Debunking the myths

18 mth Myth of youth ministers stay.

Then there was the 4% lie Group Magazine pointed out in 2008
this month debunks the Dropout Rate Myth.

Then of course there is the whole misuse of stats to support one's own agenda. Sure people mean well but please don't try to further lies. It seems Christianity and Youth Ministry especially need their own snopes or truthorfiction site.
I think its being naive, gullible or what have you. We need to use discernment and be as gentle as doves and wise as serpents. Too bad the internet has become a fast place to spreading the myths and urban legends in youth ministry. I wonder if there are more urban legends in youth ministry out there? I wonder if youthministryurbanlegends dot com is taken?

or even preaching urban myths dot com ...

Guess I have to use snopes ; urban legends; and hoax slayer as sources before spreading misleading information.

Anyone else see the myths and legends spreading on social media and sick of it?

Dear "Ticked" off Mom: An Open Letter.

I am writing this in response to your very Public letter
to a family in your neighbourhood. I have to say and ask "what values are you teaching your children?" How do you define "Normal?"

As a Canadian, minister, husband, father of 3 children, and a human being ... I am upset. I am more than upset ....I am disappointed. I believe and know that all life is precious, valuable, and especially people are made in the image of God. To write what you have written is "Hateful" (No matter what the courts decide and classify it as ... )You wrote this letter to be mean, and hurtful. Shame on you.

Having said that .... let this be known: I forgive you. I hope this family does too. I am praying for you and these families. I am praying that your children see the value of people not being by the noises they make ...(We all make noises from time to time don't we?) but by the care they are given and the love shown.

Scripture tells us to do good to all people. Love your enemies. Pray for those that persecute you. Love and forgive ... For Vengeance is mine saith the Lord. My prayer is that your heart be changed, transformed, and value all people who God made.

Sincerely,

Gerrard R. Fess

All truth is God's Truth

So I was eating some pizza and had a thought. Here is the logic I came across in my little feeble mind. All Truth is God's truth, right? so if that is true (which it is) ... then if Jesus is God's Son and Jesus is the Saviour ..(which He is) then He is either the Saviour of all the world or He isn't.

You can't Add qualifiers to truth. Here are some qualifiers I have heard with Jesus being the Saviour.

Jesus is the Saviour to all the world, but especially the Jews because they are God's people and if they don't accept Jesus when the End times come, they still get a Get Out of Jail FREE card.

Or this other qualifier, Jesus is the Saviour but there can be other paths that lead to God. What are these people thinking? It seems that the whole dispensational and universalism views have holes in them. Guess I should be getting back to eating my pizza.

Why Young Pastors are leaving the Ministry?

Why Young Pastors are leaving the Ministry?

Saw the following article and thought to post here for discussion as well:

There is an epidemic occurring right under the nose of church middle judicatories and no one seems to notice. Young pastors (less than five years in the ministry) are leaving in droves. The Lilly Foundation has poured millions of dollars into “Sustaining Pastoral Ministry” initiatives and it’s too soon to tell whether or not their approach is working. Aside from the obvious reasons pastors leave the ministry (sexual impropriety, financial mismanagement, and marital dissolution) here are the top ten reasons why young pastors call it quits:



1. The discontinuity between what they imagined ministry to be and what it actually is is too great.

2. A life without weekends sucks.

3. The pay is too low (most pastors in my denomination make less money than a school teacher with five years experience).

4. They are tired of driving ten year old cars while their congregations trade in their cars every two years.

5. Many young pastors are called into difficult congregations that chew pastors up and spit them out because experienced pastors know better.

6. Even though the search committee told them they wanted to reach young people, they didn’t really mean it.

7. When the pastor asked the search committee if they were an “emergent church”, the members of the search committee thought he said “divergent church” and agreed.

8. Nobody told the young pastor that cleaning the toilets was part of the job description.

9. The young pastor’s student loans came due and the amount of money he/she owes on a monthly basis exceeds his/her income.

10. Working at McDonalds has al ot less stress.

Why do you think young pastors are leaving in the ministry in droves?

I've Got a Few Words for Ya!

I've Got a Few Words for Ya!

It use to be Generation X's motto of "I've got two words for ya"


And then of course there is the old knowing lines from movies - such from Tom Hanks in "League of Their Own" - "There's no crying in baseball" (Unless you're a Yankees Fan this year)


And of course I think the newest line or oldest line in Ministry "There's No Crying in Ministry."


I've seen the tears. I've seen them not only from youth and emotions and hormones run wild but of ministers. Sure there are times to quit; sure there are times when the church abuses you; sure there are times when bad things happen but fact is - God doesn't want the weak to lead nor babies to keep focusing on the elementary things.


Ministry isn't for whiners, criers, quitters, or is it a stepping stone, easy, all fun and games, babysitting, or for just the young or just the old.


Whiners need not apply!


There is NO Crying in Ministry.


Ministry is tough. Ministry is for those that feel the call to love God's people that want to love God. Who see beyond themselves and see what God can do rather than what they can do on their own.


Ministry isn't about gimmicks; being first; last or inbetween. It is about passion. It is about grace, mercy, forgiveness, pressing on, not looking back but stepping forward to see where God can take you and other people in being the Church where you are!


The problem is we have too many whiners in ministry. We have too many churches that just don't get what ministry is about. It isn't so much about teens, family, nor increasing the size of your group as it is as much about doing what God would have us to do.


It isn't for the weak, lame, those that want to do nothing but for those that can't depend upon themselves and can give none of the credit but to the Lord.


Basically Ministry is more about Jesus and less about us. The more our churches get that point - the better off we'll be.

Emergent Critics

The Us versus Them

Saw this over at YSMarko's site
and thought contributed much to the dialogue of the Critics of the Emergent Church.(And sometimes the church as a whole) Here it is:

"I feel with many critics, the talking and arguing goes on and we keep missing each other because of the words we use and the different meanings behind them. Conversations can sound a lot like this . . .

church?
emerging church!
ahhh . . . no absolute truth?
no . . . church formation!
ahhh . . . building?
no . . . pub-house-coffeeshop!
ahhh . . . small group?
no . . . church!
ahh . . . youth?
no . . . wider!
ahhh . . . GenX?
no . . . worldview!
ahhh . . . contemporary, CCM?
no . . . yuk . . . hell no . . postmodern!
ahhh . . . hate modern?
no . . . after modern!
ahhh . . . critical theory?
no . . . emergent theory!
ahhh . . . no absolute truth?
no . . . truth!
ahhh . . . philosophy?
no . . . culture!
ahhh . . . culture over Scripture?
no . . . Scripture before culture!
ahhh . . . hate church culture?
no . . . love church!
ahhh . . reforming church?
no . . . fresh expressions!
ahhh . . . traditional church is stale?
no . . . need contextual!
ahhh . . . compromise?
no . . . prophetic!
ahhh . . . charasmatic?
no . . . more holistic!
ahhh . . . new age?
no . . . one true church!
ahhh . . . ecumencial?
no . . . missional!
ahhh . . . overseas?
no . . . cross-cultural right here!
ahhh . . . mission project?
no . . . missional movement!
ahh . . . exploiting?
no . . . redeeming!
ahhh . . . dominating?
no . . . emerging!
ahhh . . . no absolute truth?
no . . . what? . . . shut up!
"

Hurting Youthworkers Wanted!!!

Hurting Youthworkers Wanted!!!


Too often I see that AD. Hurting youthworkers wanted. Apply within so we can hurt you again. I know the old urban legend of its 18mths and the youthworker jets to the next church. I'm wondering though, there are too many hurting youthworkers, too many churches that have fangs. And too few people to say "STOP IT!"

My encouragement to the youthworker is hang in there, keep pressing on. The benefits are worth it.

Discipline

This is from my thoughts on a story about a teacher that disciplined a student by isolating him for 2hrs from the rest of the class ...(Originally the class came up with the rules and punishment and the result was an upset parent - of course what parent would not be?)


What sometimes we forget that discipline is suppose to positive not negative ...we are to be discipling.

Catch your students doing good, avoid the distractions, address the issue and child one on one. Have positive feedback.

One of the big things is we want immediate results. Some discipline issues take time, patience, and not a QUICK FIX answer.

The teacher needs to know how to handle her students. If she cannot control a student who is talking all the time and had to go to such measures; I'd think one needs to know what discipline is and is not.

The mother is just upset. Not dumb. The school is doing the best they can with the situation. Which will probably be to reprimand the teacher, and maybe transfer this student to a different classroom setting. There has been some damage done and hopefully it is repairable. The real issue is How does One Resolve Conflict?

What I am afraid is too many of us are quick to react, slow to listen, and be patient. I think this teacher reacted too quickly and the consequences don't fit the action.



I listed 2 resources from Les Christie,
Les Christie's book How to work with Rude, obnoxious, and Apathetic Kids (Good for student ministry)

With such things as reasons for problem behaviour, giving kids confidence, rules and guidelines, consequences, praise - catch them doing right, handling anger, getting rid of distractions, specific discipline methods, such as if kid is talking eye contact, move to a different spot, maybe this child has ADD or ADHD etc,

The Discipline Guide for Children's Ministry by Jody Capehart, Gordan West & Becki West.

Kids in God's Kingdom, Kids will be kids, discipline to the design of the child, common sense Do's and Dont's, The Extra Challenge - Kids with ADD, parents, teachers and partnering together.

I'm also thinking of the book Why Nobody Learns Much of Anything at Church and How to Fix it. by Thom and Joani Schultz. -maybe this child is not an audible learning maybe he can learn by innovation and active learning depending on his own learning or her own learning style. I think the educational field and church education needs to look closely at this idea of addressing the Kinetic, audible, and other types of learners.

The resource Assertive Discipline for Parents by Lee Canter and Marlene Canter is good as well.

In it it includes Take charge and be the Boss. Don't use ineffective responses, communicate assertively.

If minor (Such as talking)separate the child from the room or area and have them set away from the group by the number of minutes their age is if 3 -3 minutes etc.

I do like the discipline plan that is outlines

What specific behaviour child must change?

What are the consequences:

If this does not work, what next....

1st time misbehaves
2nd
3rd

How will you monitor the problem?

What will you keep track of?

Positive reinforcements for good behavior ....

Rules child to work on .....

Discipline problems at school ....

How will monitor?
What are the consequences?
What are positive consequences if child behaves at school?
---------------------------------------------------------------

So what are your thoughts? How do you do discipline and resolve conflict?

What Youth Ministry can do without ...

YM and Its Future (I originally wrote this back in 2008)

Seems everyone is talking about the future of youth ministry.

So here are some things I suggest youth ministry can do without:



1. Gimmicks - finger blasters, trying to be cool toys to give out!

2. Games - such as chubby bunny or games that just embarrass kids.

3. More books on youth ministry. It seems everyone has written on it.

4. Focus on solely students or just youthworkers. Let's not forget their Number one influence in their lives is their parents.

5. The Blame Game of competing with Extra-curricular activities. I'm so sick of hearing youth pastors whine and complain - Oh, the school is competing or taking away from the students' youth group time or the parents' priorities aren't straight. (I'm thinking UMM Idiot get a life ... the parents are trying to do the best they can ...how about equipping your students to be light into their community instead of the little holy huddle in your youth group bubble?)

6. Complete copying others purpose driven, values, vision, etc without making it your own and adapting it to your context. I get it. Doug Fields is great but in middle of nowhere nebraska the whole let's be completely like the next mega church Guy doesn't work. Students can smell a Rat.

What things do you think Youth ministry can do without?

You Matter To Your Staff Team

You Matter To Your Staff Team


This article applies if you are the only person "paid" on staff ... have volunteer staff, leadership or are involved in a multi-staff church atmosphere.
We are all part of the body. Be encouraged.

Original Article

“Now the body is not made of one part but of many …
So that there should be no division in the body, but that its part have equal concern for each other.” 1 Corinthians 12:14,25 NIV.

You matter. Your staff, your co-laborers in ministry, needs and wants you to do your very best. You are a part of a body of believers that gets the honor and privilege of working together for the local church. Your ministry and staff position matter to your co-workers. Your actions and conduct reflects on them, and theirs on you.

Sometimes it feels like you are working alone; recognize you are not alone. You are in this journey together. Your co-workers want to know your dreams, desires and prayer requests. You are loved and valuable to them. You share life together - meals, family times, joys and trials - not only a calling to ministry.

You matter to your staff because you are part of the staff - it takes all of you to accomplish the mission. You are a team, serving the same Master: “whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not men” Colossians 3:23. Imagine how staff meetings would be if your staff worked together as if working for the Lord? The team would be incomplete without each of you - janitor, office administrator, You, Worship pastor, Senior pastor, all of you – are called to work together for the Kingdom. Value each other; each of you are part of the bigger picture.

Being a staff together is invaluable and you matter to each other. You minister to each other. As part of this staff, you are impacting lives, training people, helping be an agent of change. You help transform people’s lives to be more like Jesus. Thanks for all you do. Know you matter and bring value to the staff team - you are part of the same body and in this together.

“If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.”1 Corinthians 12:26.

Simply H2O?

From my sermon files and something I preached awhile ago:

"These are the Deserts of our Lives"

The Desert of Invitation (A look @ Moses)
The Desert of Dedication (A look @ Elijah)
The Desert of Temptation (Look @ Jesus)

And that we after our own "desert" experiences need to embrace and drink of the Living water. So we handed out bottled water with the message "Are you thirsty for the Living Water?"

And I'm wondering, as leaders, how are you quenching your thirst, feeding your soul?

Ten Ways To Resolve Conflict In Your Ministry

Original Article
Revised and Updated


So, you're thinking of quitting ministry? You aren't alone. I've been there too. Most people enter into ministry with the assumption that everyone will get along. Those idealistic assumptions last a month or less. Soon enough, all leaders will run into serious conflict. Experience has taught me that most youth workers don't know how to deal with conflict when it happens. The conflict with their elder board, parents, teachers, people within the church etc.

It is how we view conflict and get it resolved that make us stronger leaders. (Besides using the Matthew 18 principle ) Here are some battle tested strategies for dealing with conflict:

1. Pray. Pray for wisdom, discernment and direction. Pray for the person or people you are struggling with. Seek God first.

2. Rant. Journal privately. Talk to God and/or someone about the issue to just get it off your chest. It's probably best to not involve someone in your ministry context. Find someone who will listen who is removed from the situation.

3. Seek wisdom. Get some insight from godly people you trust. This maybe your mentor, accountability partner, peers, online community.

4. Outline the problem in writing. Go over the pros and cons of the conflict, and a history that lead to it. Documentation helps but sometimes this step reveals our role in the conflict better.Maybe it's not all their problem, maybe I'm making it worse?

5. Make a plan. Resolution isn't easy. Create a plan to address the issues.

6. Address the issue directly. Once you follow through on your plan of action (Usually this involves sitting down with the parties involved in the conflict and maybe having a mediator). Address your outline, revise, get both sides of the issue. Address the conflict, don't attack the person, but the keep the conversation focused on specific issues. If if the person is a jerk, generally telling them that doesn't make matters better.

7. Make a common resolution plan. Come up with a plan together for actions to help the healing process. If the other person is unwilling still do this for your own conscience.

8. Forgiveness. Forgive the person and perhaps yourself for any wrong doing in this.Holding a grudge about the situation when it's been resolved will only weaken your ministry. If you were wrong, admit your mistakes. It will make you a stronger leader.

9. Evaluate yourself and your actions. Was there anything I can learn from this? Am I at fault? What would help me do better in the future? Seek counselling if necessary. Take a break., sabbath, time to heal may help.

10. Be the peacemaker. Learn to moderate, be a mediator, extend grace and be a life long learner in this messy world of conflict resolution. Taking the first step will communicate powerfully to your entire ministry.

Ministry isn't easy. In fact it's hard enough without all the problems. But, conflicts will come. It is how you handle conflict that either makes or breaks your ministry and helps your leadership skills. Hang in there. I am looking forward to hearing how you handled your most recent conflict.



For Discussion:

- Describe a whopper of a conflict that you got involved in and how you resolved it.

- Are there in additional tips that you would add to this list?

Additional resources for conflict resolution:

Healing Life's Hurts through Theophostic Prayer, Edward M. Smith
Healthy Churches, Peter Steinke
Making Peace: A Guide to Overcoming Church Conflict, Jim Van Yperin.
Managing Church Conflict, Hugh Halverstadt
The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving personal Conflict, Ken Sande.
Pastors in Pain, Gary Presto

The Wounded Minister, Guy Greenfield

War Wounds?

So what is your story? Ever been hurt? I been thinking of this lately. With the whole Sin, grace, Manipulation(sometimes my own) and the whole reality of ministry. The reality is that there are horror stories out there. You will be wounded. Don't give up. I'm not perfect. I'm messy. I've messed up, in fact, as a result of a lot of my failures and shortcomings; it helped mold and make me into a better preacher.

So what is your story. Mine: A messy Canadian who ended from a broken home to Bible College to a few short ministries, to some good ones, and continues along the journey. Husband. Father. Follower.(Not a fan)

And still amazed by God's Grace. What about you?

Currently Reading .... gods at war ....

Anyone else?

Helpful Hints For Getting Hired In Ministry

Original Article
Revised and Updated.

Let's cut to the chase. You are reading this because you are looking for a job in ministry. I have some suggestions to help you go from looking to being happily employed.

1. Your resume is everything. Keep it short. Simple. An opening letter of interest of the position. The resume itself should have your contact info, philosophy of ministry, doctrinal statement, education, experience, honors, and references. Usually 1 page for an introductory letter, 1-2 page resume, and references. Make it professional. Check for spelling. Make them want to talk with you. Don't overdo it though. Be concise and honest.

2. Have it in writing. Get a description of the position. Pay range etc. If a church doesn't have any idea of what they are looking for, should you really be considering them?

3. Ask what the application process is. This is important. If you are looking for a position in the next few months and the church isn't in any hurry to hire, no need to send a resume. How soon before you can expect to hear back? Are they doing a beauty contest? Bringing in their Top 3? etc.

4. Demographics. Size of church, location. Region of the Country. Not everyone can be the Next Rick Warren in Southern Ca (I'm sure Rick doesn't even want you to be) but be who God called you to be. Know your own personality and gifts and where can minister. This doesn't rule God out, but also might clarify your Calling to a particular area. If you are passionate about Inner City ministry, don't apply to middle of Nowhere, Idaho. Get some info about the church, size, ages, area etc.

5. Be professional. Apply for the position. Review the pros and cons of the area. When conducting interviews try to be concise and be prepared. Nothing like off the wall questions. Be prepared for whatever may come. Be prepared to give a lesson. Show your philosophy of ministry. Dress appropriately for the occasion.

6. Ask Questions. Don't just answer them. Ask them. What is the history of the church? Program Budget? Leadership styles? Get to know much about the church as possible. This is a very much like a dating relationship - you want to know if you will be compatible.

7. Get References. Not only for yourself. But about the church you are applying to. Ask for them. What does the local Y say about the church I'm applying to. How is it seen in the community? Who else has worked or knows about the past Minister? etc.

8. Theology is a must. If you cannot agree theologically or methodology with a certain church - don't apply. Don't shape your theology to get a job but rather let your theology lead you. Too often what happens is misunderstandings not only over theology but over difference of opinion, and yet some of this could have been avoided if understood upfront where the congregation stood doctrinally and in its methods to approaching that doctrine.

9. Pool your resources. Network. Know your friends. Know what is out there. Get those connections to help find the right ministry position for you.

10. Pray. (Should have been #1) Seek God's will in this. Applying for a ministry isn't an easy task. You want it to be for the long haul. Too many apply and accept the first church that has accepted them only to be looking again shortly. If you do your homework, God has a place for you. It is definitely worth it. Ministry is a good thing ... a job at which you can love God and love people.

(I just finished looking for a ministry after six long months in between ..... long story short - took a break and God opened a few doors to which my family stepped through)

10 Ways To Start Strong

10 Ways To Start Strong

I originally wrote this article
years ago for youth ministry but edited and updated for ministry in general. Enjoy.

You sent in your resume, did the telephone interview, met face-to-face with the search committee, and passed the congregational vote. Now, all you have to do is actually start your job as the new ministry leader. Between unpacking boxes in your new house, trying to remember the names of the church members you've met, and starting a new life, here are a few other things to remember when you start a new ministry:

1. Know what is expected of you by getting your job description in writing. Also, make sure that you have a job contract. You want to be positive, but it could protect both you and the church down the line.

2. An organized office is an office of organized chaos. Being able to actually find your expense report cultivates better relationships with the administrative forces-that-be.

3. Spend time building relationships with the others on your leadership team. Take them out to lunch or invite their family over for dinner. Know their giftedness. Spend time together building a team--the more united you are, the better.

4. Meet the people and get feedback on what they want their familes to get out of ministry. By building relationships with the people, you can gain their trust.

5. Build your ministry team. Get to know your leaders. (See #3) Find out what traditions are important to the group and build on those. Also, encourage leaders to take part in what you are planning for the future. You may even want to schedule a ministry planning retreat, even if you only spend the day brain-storming at someone's house.

6. Get to know your everyone; afterall that is all about them, right? Identify your leaders and purposely building into them through mentoring and disciple. Make sure you every activity and lesson you plan has a purpose, even if the purpose is just to build relationships.

7. Don't change things right away. Spend the first couple of months observing the group and looking at the overall picture. Find out what works and what doesn't work. When it comes time to revamp, make sure your leadership is on board with the changes. Find ways to use your volunteers effectively so that they are using their gifts for the glory of God. If you see another ministry as a better fit for a volunteer, prayerfully consider whether or not you should discuss this option with him or her. Remember, you are in charge. However, it takes time to implement your vision into the ministry. (The ole Right people in the right seat on the right bus analogy)

8. Network! What's more fun that having lunch with a bunch of ministers? You can share ideas, rants, plan special events together, and offer accountability to one another, and it counts as work! Build long-lasting friendships outside your congregation.

9. Have a resource library. Build it to suit your own ministry needs. Ministry conventions are a great way to learn about new products, ministry philosophies, and resources. Plus, you can even snag a few freebies! Don't steal - borrow - it is called using your resources wisely ....

10. Take time out to explore your own spiritual journey. If you aren't feeding your own spiritual needs, how can you feed others?

Reflections - what do differently

So I thinking about doing a post, and what I would do differently starting ministry. After doing this thing called ministry for over 18 years as an ordained minister, and then several years as a volunteer. And now into my first year here at my current ministry, here are some things I'd do differently.

1. I would definitely Pray more. Spend more time in prayer.

2. Delegate more. The better you can inspire and administer things, the better balance to your own life.

3. Have better resources. I wish someone told me these things long ago.

4. Take care of my own soul. So often I so busy trying to save the world, I forget to feed myself.

5. Take more retreats. With my family, leaders,etc.

6. Choose wisely. I think some of the ministries I went to, I didn't choose wisely or a good fit and made some mistakes along the way ... until recently.

7. Leadership is everything. Be a leader. Influence. And make sure your leaders are behind you. Having leaders and good elders is everything.

8. Make the most of every moment. This week I've had the honor of taking my kids to a former ministry's VBS and hanging out and seeing the impact the Kingdom of God is using that church.

9. Know your strengths and weaknesses. I think knowing thyself is a good thing. Personality tests, and such come in handy.

10. Loving God and loving people more. I think this essential helped me stay on focus and wish I did it more.

Any others you would add?

Top 10 Things you can do to be Salt and Light.

There are a lot of things you can do to be Jesus' hands and feet to others. Here are some I had thought of:


I. Share the Good news to others. Really. Disciple. Tell others how Christ has transformed you and mentor. After all the Great Commission does have the word: "Go" in it.

II. Give a Cup of cold water to those that need it. Matt. 25.

III. Give food or volunteer in a Food pantry, Soup kitchen. Nothing is quite as humbling and yet enriching than helping those in need. (Don't just do this at Christmas time but volunteer or give in the "off" season as well)

IV. Give clothes to your local clothes closet. Salvation Army, Good Will etc. Find a place where you can give your best "used" clothes and they can be re-used again.

V. Pray. Establish a prayer list and be praying for others. Not just "physical needs" but also spiritual. Pray for your leaders from local, national and international. Pray for your church leaders.

VI. Give school supplies to your local school. There is always a need for teachers for school supplies. Throughout the year - pencils, tissues, wipes etc. Adopt a school, a teacher, and occasionally give throughout the year.

VII. Visit those that are shut-in or in nursing homes. There are some people whose families never visit them or have no family. The elderly appreciate a few moments of people just saying "they care."

VIII. Write a letter or card to someone that needs encouragement. With our technology savvy world - nothing though says it quite like a hand written note. Go ole school and use this thing called the "post office" ...and mail a card today. Hallmark will thank you.

IX. Support one of your church's missions (or all of them) see what needs are out there. Write the missionaries - send them supplies, volunteer, go to church camp etc. Nothing says being salt n light than supporting those trying to be salt n light on the mission field. Maybe even try to go and see what is happening ...

X. Support your local church. Pray for your minister. pray for the leadership. Volunteer and support with your time, treasure and talents. Your church will thank you. Bloom where you are planting. A lot of people can complain about their local church (and trust me a lot of people do) but instead of complaining how about change it? Take ownership, and be Jesus. Your church will thank you. God will be there ... and great things can happen.

The best thing you can do to be Salt and Light to the World is to go ... Try to be Jesus' hands and feet to others. Try keeping it simple. Start small and build from there .... as an ole movie "What about Bob?" use to say ...."Baby Steps" Are you with me?


Any others to add? Or what are you doing to be Jesus to others?

TV Series: Short Words

So I thought of some TV shows of how to sum them up in some very short viewing critic.


Here are some I thought of:


Six Million Dollar Man: A bionic man saves the day.

The Rockford Files: A detective tries to solve crime.

CHIPS - California highway patrol drama.

A-team. - Action drama of cheesy fighting where no one gets hurt.

ALF - a stuffed animal alien that talks and lives on earth and likes cats.

Brady Bunch - A mixed family of interesting cheesy life.

Gilligan's Island - a stranded crew tries to leave the island. Stranded from what was suppose to be a "three hour" tour.

MASH - a military drama of comedy based in Korea.

Cheers - A bar where everyone knows your name ... and some are glad you came.

Boy Meets World - A boy, his family, and the drama of life growing up. And Finney too.

Of course some of Disney's shows today seem to follow patterns of other shows:

Example:

Good Luck Charlie - a Full House show following kids who are trying to grow up.

Jessie - a Nannie type show (think Fran) of a young lady trying to grow up.

Austin and Ally - a "Fame" type show of trying to make it big.

Phinesas and Ferb - summer lazy days with some adult things thrown in ... Warner Bros. cartoon classic.

Shake IT Up - The Soul Dance show of its time. (Throw in Fame and its all good)

Long Movies: Few Words.

So I got thinking about movies and how to do some short reviews of short ...so here is my own analysis of some long movies and short reviews for them:


Titanic: A boat sinks.

Return of the Dragon: Bruce Lee kicks Butt.

Lone Wolf McQuade: Chuck Norris Texas Ranger - kicks butt. (lots of language)

Kung Fu Panda: A panda who tries to do martial arts.

Lord of the Rings: Trilogy - The Ring is destroyed.

The Hobbit: A Ring is found.

Footloose: (Kevin Bacon version) A High schooler dances where dancing is banned.

The Breakfast Club: Discussion over cultural stereotypes during detention.

Back to the Future Trilogy: A time traveling car that gets Michael J. fox into trouble.

Miracle: The US Hockey team Finally win.