Ministry Myth: It is all about Relationships!

Seems this ministry myth is going strong. I've seen a lot of ministries, and especially youth ministries based upon the relationships of the youth pastor to the student. Relationships are not the end. Relationships are not the goal. Relationships are the means, the tool in which one points to well, Jesus.

God doesn't say I want just a relationship with you. God wants all of you.

Ministry isn't all about Relationships. Ministry is about, well, Jesus.

You do have to have a relationship with someone to point them to Jesus. You can't just go up to any yahoo on the street, and say, "If you were to die tonight, do you know where you'd spend eternity?" People don't even think in the realms of dying tonight, eternity; nor contemplate destination. In fact it probably turns them off to the message of the gospel, rather than attracts them.

Want to reach people, who seem to know about Jesus? Be real. Don't think relationships are the end all to be all. Ministry is more than getting in a small group and thinking I have a great relationship with everyone and have community therefore this is it. Ministry is centered on God, not relationships. Sometimes we forget that.

So You want to get published ....

Here are some Helpful Hints.


1. Write what you know about.

2. Write all of your book / article / manuscript first.

3. Proofread and have someone proofread it for you.

4. Re-write your material.

5. Do your research well. Research how to get published, ask other authors, write often, get exposure. Writing on your blog doesn't count as being a "Published" author. Attend seminars on being a published. The National Youth Worker's Convention use to have a great seminar entitled: "so you want to get published..."

6. Be patient - get guidelines from a variety of publishers and submit your manuscript. Follow-up though. Just because you haven't heard from them - doesn't mean they're interested in your work, in fact the opposite is usually true.

7. Sometimes self-publishing is the way to go and get your foot in the door.

8. Start small. Write for magazines, journals at first. Know the INs and OUTs of the Publishing industry. Just because you wrote an great devotional for your Summer camp, doesn't mean the Youth Ministry World will be excited about it.

9. Write a good proposal. Why would people want to read your book? what experience do you have? What are some books that are comparable in market? If you say this is a unique idea ... try again ... search google and amazon for comparable books and publishers.

10. Keep it simple. Don't try to make the publishing process too complex. If at first you don't succeed - try and try again.

Some Resources:

Book Publishing advice


How to get published Guide


Having a Website etc for your book


Vantage Press


You can buy this book: The Complere Idiot's Guide to getting Published


Ten Simple Rules for getting published


How to Get published article by Adam Mclane
Good insight for those in the youth ministry field.

Some Ole Marko quotes

"Contrary to much of our current thinking about the importance of powerful youth ministries to the lifelong spiritual development of future adults, research proves otherwise: a teenager who attends a church's worship service on a regular basis and does not attend youth group is more likely to attend worship services as an adult than a teen who is active in youth group but doesn't attend worship services with other age groups." pg. 33 Dan Kimball's The Emerging Church.

"Extracting a Ministry model from one church and injecting it into another without thought of context is one of the primary flaws in ministry practice today." pg. 32 The Emerging Church.

Hence why I wrote: I hate Doug Fields



There are some ministries that do try to
imitate
all the flash and Hi-tech though.

Three Types of People in Churches.

I'm recognizing there are three types of people in our congregations.

I. Those learning about God and getting ready to serve. (The Lost and Unsaved)

II. Those currently serving and passionate about ministry.

III. Those just sitting on the sidelines doing nothing.

The first two are the ones I want in my ministry. The latter I say go find somewhere else to get to, or get serving.

Urban Legends Circulated by Well-meaning Christians

Seems some Urban Legends


have been circulated instead of just by email, in facebook and other social media places.

The real issue is we tell these "Legends" as fact to base our own premises by in support for the faith. Sure, they can be used as parables. The real issue is should we be spreading rumours, gossip, and not verify our sources? (I know I've been guilty of using some false urban legend -earlier in my ministry). Thanks to the internet - these legends can spread quickly, but also we can verify them quickly as well.

Example Parable of the Donut
I actually had one of my students do 100 push-ups for one of our evening services - to illustrate this pt. People still remember Brad Davis doing them push-ups and one of my Church Leaders yelling to Stop ... I'm hurting him ... and then read this parable.

Of course the The Chalk breaking
is the one legend that gets circulated as fact and even on youtube.

Some more sites and resources


Still circulating are things like the Legend of the Candy Cane, Madame O'Hare, Jesus to be portrayed as gay, etc.

So here's a list I came across that might be a good reminder ... let's circulate the truth and not be caught up in legends, or urban legends.

A List to Post Beside Your Computer

For those of you who love to be gullible, you might want to consider taking this list and placing it beside your computer:

1. I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I don't forward an e-mail.

2. I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog if I do forward an e-mail.

3. Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money and Victoria Secret doesn't know anything about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me.

4. Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if forward my e-mail to more than 50 people.

5. I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people.

6. I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail. NEVER...EVER!

7. There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people!

8. There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. But he is now cancer free, at least 35 years old and DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE POST CARDS, BUSINESS CARDS OR GET-WELL CARDS.

9. The government does NOT have a bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us five cents for every e-mail we send.

10. There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers, characters, or program that I will receive immediately after I forward an e-mail. NONE, ZIP, ZERO, NADA!

11. The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to a certain individual dying of some never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations.

12. MADELINE MURRAY O'HARE (is surely dead) and is not trying to get Christian programs off the air.

13. And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things by telling me I am not their friend or that I don't believe in Jesus Christ. If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn before He picks up a PC to pass it on!

Kingdom minded and bringing youth groups together

Several good ideas about being Kingdom minded and have done this but here is
my caution about doing so.

1. Who is ultimately in charge?

2. Who pays for it?

3. What about liability and insurance issues?

4. Timing? (As much as I'd like to work with 1st Christian down the road hearing about your event this week doesn't give me enough time nor effort to promote it. So please send stuff at least 6wks in advance.

5. Methods. Does it fit into what we're doing? What is the purpose? Merely entertain?
Fellowship? what?

6. Theology. As much as we'd like to say all churches believe the same and we worship the same God ... there are some I'd rather stay far away from ... ones that say everyone's way is ok and that Jesus is one of many ways to get to heaven. Seriously.

7. Staffing? When working with other youth groups - (see #1) staffing and having enough chaperones is important.

8. Location. Where will the programming be? Will it be too far from the student's home?
Are parents willing to drive their kids to First Baptist when Second Assembly is a mere one minute from their home?

9. Territory. As much as we'd like to think we're Kingdom minded. Will it embarrass or be seen as competition when First Church brings 100 kids and hosts the event; meanwhile Third Church only has one show up?

10. Pride. Whose pride is at stake if it doesn't work? What are the Pros/ Cons of such a gathering? I've seen lots of Crusades done (Greg L., Billy Graham) and youth rallies - only to be mountaintop experiences to let people go back into the valleys. What about
Follow-up?

11. What about discipleship? There is something to be said about remaining small and
pastoring the flock. Spurgeon said to one of his students who complained about the
smallness of his church "It is as big as you want to give an account for on the day
of judgment"
Sometimes we get the idea ...let's get the youth groups all together and do an event
without sometimes thinking through all of it.

12. Network - see what other youth workers are doing and are in your area and doing. The National Network of Youth Ministries is a great resource.

Just a few thoughts I had.

I get asked a lot on this. Like local camp stuff, things like Creation, and some good and bad things. Mostly we support Sister churches in the RM. There are some valid concerns above. I brought some teens to some SYATP events only to be disappointed to find out that some were crusades to say "Look how cool our church is compared to yours"

The Ego of Youth Ministry

Seems Timothy Eldred
has a lot to say.

His latest article, The Ego Trip of youth ministry, has me concerned. I get the jest of it ...He wants youth ministry to be youth doing ministry.

What I take issue with is statements like:

"The "A-List" youth pastors of the 90's have moved on to church planting; therefore, worthwhile youth ministry is in hibernation. Maybe you've heard the same nonsense point of view."

and this statement:

"Youth ministry is not about doing for or ministering to young people. It's about youth doing ministry: to youth, by youth, for youth. It's not complicated; it's the recipe for success."

And concluding with this:

"If you're looking for God to move like never before in your church, start a youth ministry that produces youth in ministry."

Now let's look at each statement.

1. Ummm, maybe the guys in the 90s were feed up with being treated as second class citizens and knew that there was more to just youth ministry than just youth but to be the church for all ages.

2. Umm the recipe for success? Where is God in this? Where is the church? What about the church being not only for youth but for all? I think successful youth ministries are ones that forget its all about just youth but about the church as a whole. Doesn't have these separate youth ministries but supports families, teens, students of all ages. Has teens that are interacting with godly role models even in their 90s?
I think the best way to ruin youth ministry is to be in the whole 1.0 or 2.0 and think it is about students. Why not just be the Church? afterall, it isn't all about students, relationships and such - those are just tools. It is all about Jesus.

3. If you want God to move in your church like never before, forget about just focusing on specific and specialized ministries and gimmicks and just be the Church God has called you to be.

I'm just wonder why we think it is all about what we do ... and maybe we should depend upon God more to give the increase?