Dealing with Loss.

How does one deal with loss?


Here are a few suggestions:

I. Look Back .... look back at the good times and bad. Cherish the memories. Scars may always be there but looking back sometimes helps with the healing and looking ahead.

II. Leave. Leave as in grief the loss and leave the past behind. It is ok to dwell on the loss but don't get so caught up that it makes you absorbed and not to move forward. It might be you have to leave certain areas, or items ...because the loss is too painful. It is ok to cry, give things away, to laugh. everyone deals with loss differently.


III. Learn from the loss. Sometimes the hardest question is Why? And not always we will have an answer but when we learn it helps us to think what can I do to help others.

IV. Love. love each other. So often I have heard people in dealing with loss "Oh, I can't go to church anymore because it is too painful" That's when you need the church the most. to encourage, lean on, love on you .... let you know God is there. The God of all comfort.

Others you would add? how do you deal with loss? Still have the scars?

Teen Haven Camp

Flashback Summer 1993 ... I had the honor of working with Teen Haven Camp ..and with Vinnie and the crew there.

A Celebration

this past Sunday I had the honor to partake in a celebration of Delaine Hilborn and her family and have renewing of vowes for her daughter, Coral and her husband, Angel. It was a good time.

Continue to pray for Delaine. Thanks.

Learning from Cows

Flashback Friday: Water Street Mission

I spent the summer of 1992 there serving the Day Camp and later 1993 the Teen Haven Camp they had.

Top 10 Things to Give for Minister Appreciation Month

Top 10 Things you can give for Minister  Appreciation Month

By Gerrard R. Fess


October is Minister  Appreciation Month. The following are some suggestions to help show your leadership that you care. As a fellow minister  some of these suggestions were given to me and helped encourage and show that I was valued as a member of the church body.


1. Gift cards – cards from local grocery store, home value places,, I-tunes etc. Be creative. 


2. Groceries. Get what their grocery list is or what they usually buy. Some churches in the South I’m told do what is called a “Pounding” and basically what a pounding is a challenge to fill the cupboards and fridge to the brim with stocks of food. Imagine saving $$$ on groceries. Very practical idea.

3. Free babysitting and complimentary funds for a date night.

4. Money – always works. Sometimes you don’t know what the family’s bills, struggles or what they need – it might be they need more clothes for the kids but the budget is tight so some extra funds come in handy.

5. A hand written card. Nothing says Thank You like getting the personal touch of someone saying thanks. Even an e-card would do too.

6. Subscription services to magazines (Leadership, Rev, Journal of Student Ministries, Group), online services and websites, podcasts. There are some online services like preachingtoday.com that have a subscription and might help with their ministry. Maybe get a wish list here of magazines or online services they’d dream of subscribing to.

7. Gadgets. Help the leadership maybe update their software, laptops, PDAs, cell phones. Maybe even have several families go in to help purchase some of this higher dollar items. This not only shows love but an investment in their ministry. It is only a matter of time that some leaders have to quit using Windows 2000 and eventually go MAC. even having an E-reader like a kindle or nook.

8. Books – get a wish list of books you church leader has (note the favorite authors) or would like to buy. A good leader is a lifelong learner and always could use more reading resources and books. E-books too!

9. Extra Vacation days. Help organize more time off or see that they can get renewed by having their own personal retreat. Perhaps there is someone in your congregation who has a vacation home to offer, or see what your local camp ministry offers or other resources.

10.  Help send them to that seminar or convention that they always wanted to go to. Conventions can be expensive. Making sure they get there, have all the funds and don’t have to worry about how this affects their own personal budget or the church’s – set them at ease. There are many ministers, pastor, youth leader, marriage, conventions out there.

Honorable Mention:
-Do any of the above and more on any other day other than Minister Appreciation Month will go a long ways too.

-Specifically pray for your church leaders. Ask them for prayer requests. Send them a note telling them that you are praying for them.

-Have a special ceremony to recognize them in front of the church body.
-Celebrate those holidays, birthdays, anniversaries. Recognize the anniversary of the number of years that they been at the church. Promote and celebrate longevity.

-Take them out. Treat them to dinner, lunch, a fun activity. Sometimes it is the little things that say a lot. Be creative and have fun with showing love.

Some resources:

What is minister appreciation month?

Difference you can make!



Books:
Genuine Ministers – Marshall Leggett
Becoming Your Favorite Church – HB London, Neil Wiseman.

The 4 As in Life

I got thinking about life and what most people want and are excited about: Especially in the Christian life and this journey we call: Faith. So here are 4 things I see that we need in life.

1. Assurance. We need to know that everything is ok. We need to know and have the confidence that what we are trying to achieve is the right thing to do. As someone once told me "If you can't do the right thing; do the next right thing."

2. Affirmation. Everyone wants to be loved, encouraged and told they are doing a good job. Affirmation goes a long way. The little notes, cards, gifts make it all worthwild. I know when "Minister Appreciation" comes in October I look forward to it ...and being told that I'm doing ok. Everyone wants that encouragement. This is one of the primary reasons we get together as a church to "Not forsake the assembly, and to encourage one another."

3. Assessment. We need to be evaluated. How are we doing? Are there any areas we can improve on? Doing this gently and in love. Sometimes the truth hurts. I don't always like to be assessed. I get evaluated all the time ... by people listening to my sermons ....Some are homeruns; others are not. But always prayer, seek God and let Him do the speaking through His Word.

4. Being Anxious. There are some days I just can't wait to start the day. Other times, where I feel like "Oh, boy is this going to be good or bad ..." And then we, like the Apostle Paul, can look forward to heaven and our Eternal Home. This world is not our home ...we're just passing through.

So What things do you think can help us keep focused and press on towards the prize

Things to Say to Christian Kids

This morning I had the opportunity to speak at Piedmont Christian School's Chapel. The age range 3 to 17. Yes, you read that right.

So what does one speak to at a Christian school? (Last time I spoke on the Greatest commandment - to love God and love others ...(also I had a Bible Coloring book for an object lesson)

I spoke on the importance of what it means to be a Christian. the lessons of:


1. Be Transformed ...be different from Romans 12:1-2

2. Be loving from 1 John 4:7,8

3. Be Courageous - have a heart for Jesus and the lost from Jonah 4.

So if you had a platform to speak to Christian kids and children what would you tell them?