Stats, Retreat, and a worthy quote!

For Every 10 Men in your Church:

10 are struggling to balance work and family.

9 will have children who leave the church.

5 will have a serious problem with pornography.

4 will get divorced.

Only 1 will have a Biblical Worldview.

Source: Harry Gill.
Men's Retreat
April 24-25, 2009.

A Big part of the Men's Retreat was a study of 1 Peter 1. The above stats were in context of what Harry had experienced in his own ministries.

One of the things that stood out to me was a prayer of one of the guys there. His prayer that we "Produce Reproducing Disciples". That are time is limited so use it wisely.

Community: Defined!

What is community? What is it not?

Defined: where you share life together.

There are some basic elements to it. One has to want to be a part of a community. One has to love, and be willing to be loved.

It is different in a world context due to how one defines love and value. The church and its community should be based upon management of what God has given us. In our relationship to God it is our life sharing as a part of His'.

That's community defined in its simplicity.

Fan or Follower of Jesus.

There seems to be this debate of whether there should be fans or followers of Jesus.

Fans tend to focus on cheers. Give me a J - give me an E.

Fans tend to focus on Big crowds. The excitement.

Fans tend to goto Big Events ... mountain top experiences ... but when there are valleys ... the fans are nowhere to be seen.

Fans love conferences, conventions, Mega, and Super Size.

Fans tend to love the idea of Jesus; but only when its convenient.

Followers are True lovers of Jesus. They are Disciples, Christians.

Followers love one another. Followers love their enemies. Followers do what Jesus said.

Sometimes I see our churches more full of fans than followers of Jesus. You see followers of Jesus takes time. It takes discipleship and isn't easily summed up into a formula, 4 laws, or a finger exercise. Fans tend to do things quick ...say this prayer; do this act and you're done. Lots of shouting and confronting without the relationship.

I want to make followers, how about you?

(And yes I came across this "Jesus Saves Card pic" )

Fourteen People You should know in Your Community.

Moving to a new ministry or in the midst of one? Want to know who you should connect with and why?

Here are some good suggestions:

I. Local Education personnel - a teacher, educator, principal etc. They can give you insight to the local schools, the school board, and the INs and OUTs of ministering to them.

II. Hospital Personnel - where are the local hospitals, medical facilities, policies, visiting hours etc.

III. Chaplains - Gives you a spiritual insight to where you live and how the policies and procedures work. I appreciated the chaplains here helping me with resources for "pastoral care" and getting to know how to minister more effectively.

IV. Funeral Directors - know where the local funeral homes are. As what resources they offer to help the bereaved. Take advantage and interest in what they do. My first "Funeral" visit in MD was where a lady had a fishing pole in one hand and a cigarette in another. Very amusing.

V. Office supply personnel - know where to get office supplies. Who does mailing, mass purchases etc.

VI. Graphic Designs - Know who to goto when you need something done for graphics, marketing etc.

VII. IT, technology personnel - best to know people or businesses that do multi-media in the area - from music, computers to digital signs. Website hosting etc. (Still working on this area)

VIII. Local Network of Co-workers. I goto a monthly preachers' meeting. Try not to miss it. Well worth it for the encouragement, study, pray and just knowing you're in this together for the Kingdom.

IX. Local media personnel - get to know where your local paper is. Take a tour. Get to know the editors. Know where the local TV station, radio is. We've recently did this for our "Final Week Re-enactment Drive Through" and was powerful to know people in the community know our church.

X. Social Services outlets - know what organizations are out there helping the hurting, financially distressed, homeless etc.

XI. Law Enforcement - always good to know your local police, fire officers etc.

XII. Business Professionals - know what works what doesn't. Learn from leadeership.

XIII. Community Leaders. Politicians etc. Know who is who. My first month here I received a letter of welcome from the local delegate - welcoming me to the community. First impressions last.

XIV. You. Get to not only know yourself but others in the community. Get to know as many people as possible. Connect. Build Genuine relationships. Be authentic. And be the hands and feet of Jesus to others.

Other thoughts?

Ministering in the midst of Suicide!

About a few months ago I had to conduct one of the hardest funerals I've ever done. A young man took his life. This past weekend, One man took his own family's lives
Mere miles from our Church. Another happened up the road from us


Then a CFO of Freddie Mac
apparently commits suicide as well.

With tough times, financial crisis ... people get depressed and think the only way out is to end it all.

So what is one to do with dealing with suicide? what is the Church's Role?

Here are some things I'm currently learning and have learned.

I. When someone mentions suicide - take it seriously. Don't brush them off or say don't talk like that.

II. Listen. Sometimes the best thing is to just be there for the person or the family that has lost a loved one.

III. Empathize but don't over do it. You can try to understand but know you aren't exactly them. Don't try to trivialize loss.

IV. Encourage the person. Know that they are loved and valued.

V. Pray for them. Lift their needs before our Father.

VI. REFER. Get expert help. Refer to counseling.

VII. Follow-up on the family. See how they are doing.

VIII. Get them plugged into a Bereavement group, ministries like Hospice to help cope.

IX. Don't have all the answers. I got asked several times "Do you think my loved one is in heaven?" My response - I don't know ... but I do know the God of all comfort, and He knows.

X. Be willing to learn more and explore more resources. Just in the last few weeks - I've visited several chaplains, hospice, pastoral care and the other resources out there to be more effective in ministering to those with loss.

Some of the resources I've come across include:

Survivors of Suicide


Josh McDowell's Handbook on Counseling Youth

Christian Counseling - Gary Collins

Hope Line


Road to Healing


Dealing with this issue isn't easy. I struggle with my own faults, failures, and sometimes try to be "Superman" to others. I don't think I've done the best job but do know God is in control, and just try to love the family in the midst of crisis.

Any other resources, or suggestions?

Top Ten Reasons to Consider Getting out of Youth Ministry

10. You think you have teens figured out
9. You understand the parents
8. Your name is Doug Fields and you sold all your material
7. You think doing having Fun and games is all there is to youth ministry.
6. You bought all the Youth Specialties material and are thinking; and now what?
5. You want to reach out to Generation X; and don't even know that we are past post-modernism.
4. You don't even have a computer.
3. You still teach out of the KJV
2. You don't know who Yaconelli, Kimball or Fields are ...and don't even read Riddle's Rants
1. You don't love students; and you don't even know if there is a God.