Thursday, January 15, 2004

Something Mike would say. I love it!

George R

fess2@juno.com wrote:

> In answer to any question like the stated one ....
>
> I answer to the effect ...I'm messed up. I'm the chief of sinners. I'm a
jerkface. I'm not a very good youth leader; not a good pastor, husband, father
nor am I the greatest example ...I lust; I steal, I envy; I'm sick and tired of
trends and wish that those that think they got youth ministry figured out just
shut the heck up! (Except I wouldn't use heck).
>
> I'm scared, I'm tired, I'm a loser. I'm no good at all. In fact I wonder if
life and youth ministry is worth it? I mean I see hurting youth workers; I see
youth pastors get fired and booted like they were yesterday's trash. In fact
I've been treated like that. I'm clay that has been thrown around. I see
bickering and lots of debate of what youth ministry and theology and what is
right and wrong but nothing achieved.
>
> I see lack of ambition. Dirt. The muddiness of it all. And through it all.
All the questions, as honest as I can. God, what in the World are you
thinking? Why am I here?
>
> And through my own tears. Through my own messiness; I see sin. Sinfulness
but with hope. The need for a Saviour. GRACE. Unexplainable undeserved grace.
That God would use a messy, geeky, nerdy, useless youth worker like me to
achieve what He wants. That God would indwell and use and see me as clay. Still
being refined and yet wanting to be more. God isn't done yet; but boy am I one
piece of lumpy clay and sometimes feel like manure along the way.
>
> A servant and a jerk.
>
> Gman
>

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