A Perfect Pastor (pg 102 Leading the Comeback church -David Nixon shares the following from In Holly Humor Cal and Rose Samra the profile of a perfect pastor)
A Perfect Pastor...
Results of a computerized survey show that the perfect pastor...
Preaches exactly 15 minutes, condemns sin, but never upsets anyone.
He works from 8:00 AM until midnight and is also the janitor.
He makes $60 per week, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a good car... and gives about $50 per week to the poor.
He is twenty-eight years old and has been preaching for thirty years.
He is wonderfully gentle and handsome.
He has a burning desire to work with teenagers and spends all his spare time with senior citizens.
The perfect pastor smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his work.
He makes fifteen calls a day on church families, shut-ins and hospitalized;
Spends all his time evangelizing the "unchurched" and is always in his office when needed.
If your pastor does not measure up, simply send this letter to six other churches that are tired of their pastor, too. Then bundle up your pastor and send him to the church at the top of the list.
In one year, you will receive 1,643 pastors and one of them should be perfect.
WARNING!!! Keep this letter going! One church broke the chain and got its old pastor back in less than three months.