Monday, October 05, 2009
Can we stop the Blaming?
Recently The Restoration Herald
had a great article on "Can we Stop the Bleeding?" on the abuse that happens to ministers and staff alike in a church setting by elders.
I do think we need to be aware that there is some of this going on. I was even involved in efforts to help fellow youthworkers who are hurt by the church. (Which is very common but resources are rare for youth workers). There are lots of resources out there for ministers hurt and in pain by the church. I was there. I've been hurt, and probably have hurt the church itself.
But can we stop the blaming? Sure it might be someone else's fault, some who does this to you; we need to move on. Forgive. Extend forgiveness as it has been given to us. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
I've heard many a preacher grip and complain about his elders; and even vice versa. The thing to me is we're a team. This is Kingdom mentality. We have alot more at stake than our egos. Let's not blame each other or dwell on that past ministry or that one "Elder" that has hurt us. For every bad apple ... I've had a lot of good men I have worked with. Godly men who wanted to do what is right.
Rare is the article that sticks up for the godly elders. This should not be so. We, as ministers, need to be supportive of our elders. Hang in there. Pray for them. Point out the flaws. I've had my share of mistakes in ministry, if it wasn't for some of the elders I had ... I think I would of been gone along time ago. They allowed me to fail, learn, pick up the pieces. It was a learning process. Still is. When we start blaming .... we also cause some wounds to open up again ... and make the bride of Christ look bad.
My prayer is not only can we stop blaming each other; but support one another as Christ supports and forgives us.
Questions to ask:
1. How is your staff and leadership? A team? Conflict? some wounds there?
2. Why is it easier to blame others, than look at one's self?
3. What resources have you found to not only stop bleeding but the blaming?
4. Who do you have in your life that is a great example of a Christian leader?
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